The Musings of Hermione Louisa Granger
by Hermione-G-Weasley
Summary: This is Hermione's story. Read her diary and see what really goes on inside the head of Hogwarts top student. Rating is for swearing and possibly other things later on.


A/N: This got in my head and wouldn't get out! I've read other "diary" fics, but I've never done any myself. However, I just got in the mood. It's all Hermione, too.  
  
Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine. But you already knew that.  
  
********************************  
  
Friday, July 1st  
  
10:07 PM  
  
Mum gave me this journal when we got home from the train station. She said, "It's very important to have something to confide in." What she meant was, "I'm extremely busy, and I know you don't have any girlfriends." Not that she's completely useless as a mother- she's just... well, busy. But her hidden meaning about the girlfriends thing was loud and clear.  
  
I think she was probably thankful at first when I came home gushing about Harry and Ron during the Christmas hols of my first year. She probably didn't care who I was friends with as long as she didn't have a completely anti-social being as a daughter. She'd always been a put-off by the fact that the only people I ever wanted to invite to my birthday parties growing up had been my teachers. So, Harry and Ron were just fine. But now I think she's worrying about me turning into a boy or something.  
  
I don't think she really means to be so meddlesome. She just can't help it.  
  
I wish she could.  
  
*****  
  
Saturday, July 2nd  
  
9:13 AM  
  
Mum noticed my teeth at breakfast. She went ballistic. Dad yanked my chin down and started examining them; he was angry, too. They were running late for work, though, and had to leave. They left a warning for what's to come, though.  
  
We're going to have a "talk" when they get home.  
  
11:46 AM  
  
Just got my first letter of the summer. It's from Ron. He's never written this early before. I think I'll tape it in here.  
  
'Hermione,  
  
Just wanted to make sure you got home okay. Nothing really new here. Write me back, okay?  
  
-Ron  
  
PS- Going to Bulgaria?'  
  
If I wasn't so happy to get a letter (I'm already extremely bored), I'd be furious. He is never, ever going to let this Viktor Krum thing go. We'll be ninety years old, and he'll still be bringing 'Viky' into our discussions.  
  
Well, I'm not going to Bulgaria, but I'm not telling Ron that. He can just keep wondering for now.  
  
And I hate the way none of his sentences have real subjects! Doesn't he know what a proper noun is?"  
  
2:27 PM  
  
I just wrote him back.  
  
'Ron,  
  
Yes, I got home just fine. Things are pretty boring- okay, they are extremely boring. I miss school already (don't laugh).  
  
Ron, do you know proper sentence structure? In case you don't, it's subject, verb, direct object/predicate nominative/predicate adjective.  
  
I hope you're well!  
  
Love from,  
  
Hermione'  
  
2:34 PM  
  
I just sent the letter with Pigwidgeon. I hope it didn't sound too snobby. I didn't mention Bulgaria on purpose.  
  
6:13 PM  
  
It's normal for fourteen year olds to hate their parents, right?  
  
Apparently, Mum and Dad spent all day discussing my teeth while examining their (paying) patients own molars. One thing came from their musings- a mutual agreement that magic and dentistry do not mix.  
  
Hmm... Where have I heard that before?  
  
Anyway, the 'talk' went something like this:  
  
Mum: Hermione, you know our feelings on the subject of your teeth.  
  
Me: Yes, you want to spend a ton of money getting them fixed by one of your orthodontist friends.  
  
Mum: It would be in your best interest not to sass.  
  
Me: I'm not sassing. I'm just stating a fact.  
  
Dad: Hermione... (This was meant as a warning.)  
  
Me: What? Am I not allowed to point out the obvious fact that it would be a complete waste of money when I can obviously fix them for free?  
  
Mum: We'd already told you no. You deliberately disobeyed us.  
  
Dad: We are incredibly disappointed in you.  
  
Me: It is incredibly obvious that you rehearsed this. And incredibly sad. (I didn't really say this bit out loud, as I didn't fancy having my newly perfected teeth smacked out of my head. So, I just sat there quietly.)  
  
Mum: You knew how we felt, and you went ahead and did it anyway. That is extremely disrespectful.  
  
Me: Well, I'm sorry. But honestly, it was much easier, far cheaper, and a lot less painful than braces.  
  
Dad: None of that changes the fact that you broke previously discussed rules. If you have this much disregard for our rules, I'd hate to see what you're like at school.  
  
(If they only knew...)  
  
Mum: Yes, so I'm afraid we're going to have to ground you. We're sorry, but you must learn that there are consequences for rule-breaking.  
  
Big bloody deal! Where the hell did they think I wanted to go anyway?  
  
6:29 PM  
  
I just realized the best thing about keeping a diary. I can swear in it without getting teased mercilessly. Can't do that in front of the boys!  
  
9:06 PM  
  
Pigwidgeon just showed back up. He must be very fast for such a little thing.  
  
'Hermione,  
  
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do know proper sentence structure. I just don't feel the need to flaunt my perfect grammar skills all the time. In addition, I also know the correct usages of can/may and who/whom. Are there any other lessons you wish to inquire about?  
  
Now that all of that is out of the way- how's Muggle life? Heard from Viky yet?  
  
-Ron'  
  
*****  
  
Sunday, July 3rd  
  
8:43 AM  
  
I kept Pigwidgeon overnight because I knew Ron would be waiting up for him. And then, as an added bonus, I sent him with a letter to Harry instead of to Ron. I tried not to sound too naggy in it, but it's hard because I'm really afraid he won't know how to handle this. And I know he'll try to shut everyone out. But I tried not to sound too obvious. I told him about my parents' 'horrible' punishment; maybe it will at least give him a smile.  
  
10:29 AM  
  
I am SO bored!  
  
11:15 AM  
  
Lalalalalala... I sound like a Tellytubby!  
  
3:13 PM  
  
Harry wrote back. Pigwidgeon really is fast! He sounded okay- sort of vague, though. Oh, well. Guess I'd better send Ron his owl back.  
  
4:02 PM  
  
Pigwidgeon's gone again. I sent a very curt little reply, commenting on Ron's 'perfect' grammar.  
  
I did good, though. I refrained from commenting on the 'Viky' question.  
  
8:49 PM  
  
Damn, damn, double damn!  
  
Mum and Dad want to drag me to Aunt Cora's for a short 'holiday.' I tried to remind them that I'm grounded and how will I ever learn my lesson if they allow me to run off on such terribly fun trips?  
  
They didn't buy it.  
  
*****  
  
Monday, July 4th  
  
1:33 AM  
  
Ron is an idiotic prat.  
  
1:35 AM  
  
Who sends a letter that will arrive in the middle of the bloody night?  
  
1:36 AM  
  
So inconsiderate!  
  
1:39 AM  
  
Oh, hell. I might as well just put his lovely little letter (alliteration- bet Ron doesn't know that!) in here.  
  
'Hermione,  
  
Thank you for bloody worry me to death, first of all! I had no idea what had happened to my poor defenseless little owl! For all I knew, he could have been eaten by a vulture or a fox or something!  
  
And (I'll start a sentence with a conjunction if I want to, so don't say a word) second of all, Harry has his own owl. Pig can't handle all the extra mileage. He's small. Use Hedwig if you want to write to Harry.  
  
Third, speaking of Harry, he told me you're grounded. Pity that. Reckon you can't run off to Bulgaria now, can you? What a shame. A trip to Death Eater country is just what you need right now, too...  
  
Fourth, have I taught you nothing in all the years we've been friends? Why the hell didn't you just lie and say you were asleep when Madame Pomfrey fixed your teeth? Or why didn't you just pretend like the curse made them that way and that there was no counter? Your parents wouldn't have known any difference, would they?  
  
Fifth, I'm bored. Really bored.  
  
Sixth, there is no sixth.  
  
-Ron'  
  
And now Pig is flying madly around my room like the insane little git that he is. Annoying owl! And Crookshanks is going crazy, hissing and spitting. He can probably smell Ron.  
  
1:56 AM  
  
I'm bleeding all over the paper because I just tried to pulling Pig's foot out of Crookshanks' mouth and ended up getting pecked at by the bird and scratched horribly by the cat.  
  
2:01 AM  
  
Great! Now I'm in even more trouble. Dad just came up here and yelled at me for all the racket. Like I can help it!  
  
And he kicked my cat!  
  
12:16 PM  
  
I just woke up. The whole animal incident left me completely worn out and tired. I couldn't send Pig back because he was apparently so traumatized that he passed out. However, Crookshanks did not, and I ended up having to lock him in the backyard for the rest of the night. When I let him in this morning, he wouldn't even look at me. But Pig seems perfectly cheery.  
  
1:34 PM  
  
My letter to Ron just took flight. I made sure he knew exactly how much trouble his 'poor, defenseless little owl' caused. Ha! Never once has he called that bird anything besides annoying, stupid, dumb, or any variation of the words prat and git. But, then again, he never cared about Scabbers, either, until he thought the rat had been eaten.  
  
Good, Crookshanks! Good, kitty!  
  
*****  
  
Tuesday, July 5th  
  
6:44 PM  
  
Boring day. No post at all.  
  
6:46 PM  
  
I wonder if Ron is mad at me.  
  
*****  
  
Wednesday, July 6th  
  
3:16 PM  
  
This is crazy. Why am I worried?  
  
3:18 PM  
  
Why do I even care?  
  
3:19 PM  
  
It's only been three days.  
  
3:22 PM  
  
I'm just so bored...  
  
7:59 PM  
  
Mum and Dad have booked the tickets for the 'family holiday.' In two weeks, I will be in Rome.  
  
At least it's an interesting city.  
  
11:09 PM  
  
Still no letters.  
  
*****  
  
Thursday, July 7th  
  
9:26 AM  
  
Woke up to Pigwidgeon pecking on my window!  
  
'Hermione,  
  
Sorry Pig caused so much trouble. I didn't realize you'd get the letter so late. Either I miscalculated or Pig got off course and stopped for a quite bite to eat at a Paris bistro. Knowing both subjects quite well, I'd say that either is a reasonable possibility. And I'm sorry your hand got cut up. Is it okay? It was your left hand, right? Or you wouldn't be able to write. I hope it didn't hurt too much. I know the claws on that cat, though, so I'm guessing that it did. I really didn't mean for you to get it so late; I promise. And thanks for taking care of Pig, too. I really appreciate it.  
  
The reason it's been a few days is because I've been busy doing tons of chores nonstop from the moment I get up till I go to bed. I feel like Harry must when he'd with the Muggles. (I almost said, "I feel like a House-Elf," but I didn't figure you'd like that too much.) Anyway, that's why I'm writing in the middle of the night- it's the only free time I've got.  
  
See, I'm in loads of trouble...  
  
First off, I accidentally called Fred an "idiotic tosser" at brekkie the other morning, and Mum heard. She made me apologize (What am I? Six?) for saying something so "crude" to my brother. I guess she didn't care that he's called me far worse things for fifteen years now or that the title was completely fitting and accurate. But anyway, I had to apologize while Fred put on this dramatically offended face and George and Ginny sniggered humiliatingly. I did it, though, but if she had told me that I had to hug him and tell him that I love him like she used to make us do when we were little, I would have run away. I swear I would have.  
  
But that was just the start. She also made me degnome, which isn't really so bad; it can even be sort of fun if you try really hard. But Ginny came outside when I was nearly finished and said something stupid, so I told her to fuck off. Okay, so maybe "shut up" or even "sod off" would have been just fine, but she is such an annoying little brat! And I definitely did not know that Mum had the kitchen window open. I still haven't worked out how she heard me from that distance, though, but she did. She was FURIOUS!  
  
Once, when I was eight, I accidentally said bugger in front of her. She actually held me down and washed my mouth out with soap, and sometimes if I swallow weird, I SWEAR I can still taste the flakes. So, you can imagine how scared I was when I let fuck slip in front of her. I expected to be beaten to death for one, but I guess I'm a bit big for that now, so she decided that the house will be spotless (and she MEANS spotless) via my hands for the next three weeks. It's not as bad as I expected, but my ears still hurt from the screaming.  
  
But anyway, how's life in the Muggle world? Things are the same here. Fudge still doesn't believe that You Know Who is back, so The Daily Prophet hasn't mentioned it. Speaking of, I wonder what Miss Skeeter's getting up to these days. She scampered off pretty quick when we let her go in London.  
  
Well, I'd write more, but I'm really tired. And Mum'll be banging on my door in a few hours, so I need to sleep.  
  
Write me back. I miss you.  
  
-Ron'  
  
9:40 AM  
  
Pigwidgeon is adorable!  
  
9:41 AM  
  
So is Ron!  
  
9:43 AM  
  
I am a little miffed about the House-Elf comment, though.  
  
9:44 AM  
  
But he didn't technically say it.  
  
9:47 AM  
  
He misses me!  
  
9:48 AM  
  
I miss him, too!  
  
9:48 and 49 seconds  
  
And Harry.  
  
11:29 AM  
  
This is what I wrote back.  
  
'Dear Ron,  
  
I can't believe you swore in front of your mother like that! You're right; you're lucky to be alive. But I'm sorry you're in so much trouble. It's not really fair because I know your siblings swear just as much as you do, and they were probably agitating you. What did Ginny say anyway?  
  
Ron, I am so bored here! My parents work all the time, and I don't have any friends here (not that I'd be allowed to see them if I did). There is absolutely nothing to do!  
  
I started our Potions essay, but it requires research that I don't have access to. I guess I'll have to ask Mum and Dad to take me to Diagon Alley, so I can look up all the information on Brisphor Roots that I need. Have you ever been to the library there? Do you know if it's any good?  
  
Oh, yeah. My parents are making me visit my Aunt Cora for a few days. She is incredibly boring, and her house always smells like burnt toast. She's not even my real aunt; she's my mum's aunt- my grandma's sister. The last time I went to her house, I was nine. Her granddaughter was living with her; I guess she's my cousin somehow, and she's the same age as me. But I hate her. Her name is Rina, and she's incredibly stuck-up. But Aunt Cora lives in Italy, so at least that's good. At least it's a change of scenery.  
  
Have you heard from Harry lately? I haven't in a few days, but I wish he would write to me. I'm really worried about him. I don't want to sound too pushy, though, because you know how he pretends that everything is okay and how he thinks that he can handle everything on his own. I really wish Dumbledore would have let him go home with you; the last thing he needs is to be with the Dursleys right now. But I suppose Dumbledore has his reasons for doing whatever he does, doesn't he?  
  
Well, I should go. My mum and dad are coming home for lunch today, and they should be here any time now. I hope your holiday is going good (despite the obvious cleaning and such). Write me back when you get a free moment, but don't stay up all night. It's not healthy, and you'll make yourself ill. I miss you, too.  
  
Love from,  
  
Hermione'  
  
I do hope he writes me back soon, though. I'm going mad with nothing to do and no one to talk to. Perhaps, I should try to telephone Harry. I still have his number from a couple of years ago. Do you think he'll get into trouble if I do?  
  
Ha, look at me. I'm writing to you as if you're a real thing. I bet I could enchant you to talk back or something, but that would be just a little too Tom Riddleish for my taste. Besides, it would also be breaking the law.  
  
Still, though. It is nice to have something to confide in.  
  
4:49 PM  
  
I called Harry.  
  
Another boy answered the phone. I knew right away that it was his cousin because he didn't sound old enough to be the uncle. I almost hung up, but then I just tried to sound calm and asked to speak to Harry. For a long time, there was no answer. Then the boy said, "Who is this?"  
  
And I tried to debate whether or not I should make up a fake name. Finally, I managed to say that I was Harry's friend and could I please speak with him.  
  
But do you know what reply I got? "His friend? From school?" I said yes, and Dudley said, "So, are you a freak, too?"  
  
A freak? He's the one that bloody weighs twenty-five stone at the tender age of fourteen! Or so Harry says.  
  
But I did good. I remained calm and completely ignored his question (making a mental note to turn him into a frog the first time I ever lay eyes on him). I simply took a deep breath and asked once again if I could speak to Harry.  
  
Dudley sniggered and said, "Sure. Hang on," in this really weird tone that made me feel nothing good was about to come of this.  
  
I was right.  
  
The next thing I heard was Dudley screaming (and I mean BELLOWING), "Harry! You've got a telephone call! It's a girl!"  
  
A few seconds later, I heard feet running to the phone and Dudley saying, "You didn't tell me you had a girlfriend!"  
  
Then I heard Harry's voice. "Let me have the phone."  
  
Dudley laughed and was like, "Do Mum and Dad know you've got a freaky little girlfriend?"  
  
"Dudley, let me have the phone."  
  
Then Dudley came back on the phone and said, "Who is this?"  
  
"Hermione," I answered. I was extremely annoyed already.  
  
"It's Hermione." Dudley said each syllable of my name separately as if he thought this would annoy us. "Do you know her?"  
  
"Yes," Harry answered shortly. "Now, let me have the call."  
  
"When did you get a girlfriend?" Dudley seemed to think he was quite witty by saying the same thing over and over and over again.  
  
Harry, however, seemed completely over it. "She's not my girlfriend! Now give me the damn phone!"  
  
The next thing I heard was another voice. This one was really loud and fierce, and I knew it had to be the infamous Uncle Vernon.  
  
"What is this bloody racket?!"  
  
"Harry's got a girlfriend at his school, and she's on the phone!"  
  
"She's not my girlfriend!"  
  
And then the uncle got on the phone and said, "Harry Potter does not live here. Do not ever call here again." And then all I heard was a click as the phone slammed down in my ear.  
  
Bastard.  
  
No wonder Harry hates him.  
  
5:13 PM  
  
I just really hope I didn't get Harry into too much trouble.  
  
*************************************  
  
Well? If you want to read more, then let me know! Stay tuned for week two! 


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